STOP Hurting Your Own Feelings

Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore

Susie Moore

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Philosophy, Life Coach, Motivational, Education, Personal Development, Life Coaching, Self-help, Mental Health

5.0 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 February 2026

⏱️ 4 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the hardest moments in life are only half the story? We unpack the Buddhist teaching of the two arrows—how the first arrow is the unavoidable pain of reality and the second arrow is the extra suffering we throw at ourselves. With vivid examples like job loss, ghosted texts, and a new mom group that didn’t include a friend, we show how to separate what happened from what we make it mean, so you can drop the spiral and choose a better next step. And, if you want more access to me, my co...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.
0:10.0	Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting yourself. That is the moral of today's video. Stop hurting yourself. It is based on the Buddhist teaching of the story of two arrows. It's simple.
0:24.0	An arrow flies through the air and hits a person. That is real. That is pain. That is reality.
0:31.6	But we add a second arrow. We throw our own. And then that is the suffering that we inflict. The first arrow can be many things.
0:42.1	It can be someone leaving you. It can be someone not texting you back. It can be plans falling through.
0:47.4	It can be an unwanted diagnosis. That is reality. That is the first arrow. And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that
0:55.3	reality has never lost an argument. We don't want to argue with it. What is happening in the world?
1:02.0	What's happening in our life experience? The first arrow creates pain certainly. No one's
1:08.0	negating that. But the second arrow, the story that we attach, the spiral that we go
1:14.4	into, that's all us and that is additional optional suffering. So what's happened in your life lately
1:22.7	that you haven't been happy with? What has been that first arrow? Maybe you've lost a job
1:27.4	and you're making it
1:28.1	mean that you're worthless, that you don't have any useful skills or experience, that the world is
1:33.2	against you. Losing a job is the first arrow, everything else is the second. And when you look at that
1:40.3	first arrow as a truly neutral experience, you get to choose the story. The second
1:46.4	arrow never has to exist at all. People lose jobs all the time. There's always new opportunities.
1:52.7	People love to help. I was actually looking for a new challenge. Do you see how the second
1:58.5	arrow is completely up to us? I like to use this example constantly in coaching
2:04.7	with my friends, with my husband. I'm like, is this a first arrow or a second arrow? Is this reality
2:09.4	or what we're saying about reality? Maybe you had a situation, this happened with a friend of
2:15.9	mine recently where she joined a new
2:17.8	mum group and she was excited to hang out with them and they didn't invite her or include her in
	...

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