Stop Confusing Chemistry for Trauma: Silvy Khoucasian on Why You're Attracted to the Wrong People

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast

Josh Trent

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 913 Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2025

⏱️ 105 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 736

Is your attachment style secretly directing every move you make in a relationship, from how quickly you run away to how desperately you cling?

Silvy Khoucasian joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 736, to share how our nervous system, childhood attachments, and self-imposed boundaries can either block or build authentic love, why some red flags can be transformed into healthy agreements how to break old patterns and self-regulate more effectively, and what it takes to begin creating fulfilling relationships based on curiosity, vulnerability, and mutual respect.

In This Episode, Silvy Khoucasian Uncovers:

(01:15) Are You Looking for The Red Flags?
(07:45) The Four Attachment Styles
(14:10) Learn to Self-Regulate
(19:55) Create Positive Interactions With Your Partner
(25:40) Replace Judgment with Curiosity
(28:45) How to Express Emotions in A Relationship
(35:45) Expression Instead of Projection
(40:25) Heal Your Deepest Wounds
(46:55) The Anxious + Avoidant Relationship Dynamic
(52:05) How to Heal Attachment Wounds
(59:25) Why You Ignore Red Flags
(01:05:10) What Does True Love Feel Like?
(01:08:30) How Feminism Changed Relationships
(01:16:30) Men Are Being Called Forth to Provide
(01:22:15) Family Dynamics
(01:27:30) The Dark Side of Vulnerability + What Vulnerability Truly is
(01:35:30) Vulnerability Requires Boundaries

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I think I went on like 300 dates in like a two-year period.
0:02.8	I was on a mission to find my person, but would rarely ever get beyond that first date
0:06.9	because I was always looking for that red flag.
0:10.6	Sylvie Caucasian is a relationship coach with a masters in psychology who pivoted from acting
0:15.6	to teaching others how to create more self-awareness and build better relationships.
0:20.2	Is it the nervous system shutting down when we get a red flag, or is it truly a red flag?
0:24.4	And how do we know the difference?
0:25.6	Again, if our childhood experiences were chaotic, very intense, we're all going to be drawn
0:30.0	to familiar.
0:31.1	If your family system was healthy, then maybe that fireworks is okay.
0:35.6	But if it was not, and you haven't really worked through those things,
0:39.2	you have to be willing to put your objective glasses on and look for that.
0:42.7	So then there's chemistry connected to childhood wounds.
0:45.9	Do you really want there to be like explosive fireworks right away
0:49.2	to the point where it clouds your judgment?
0:51.9	There's never been more pressure on romantic love.
0:54.3	We used to look to God and spirituality
0:56.0	for our connection to those places,
0:58.3	and now we look to creating that in conscious relationships.
1:00.9	Maybe we rely a little too much on relationship
1:02.8	for that feeling of aliveness.
1:05.3	What's actually happening in our brain
	...

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