Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

When you're in an interrogation or an interview or you're on a first date or you're at a job interview in your career, or any type of first

interview with any situation, what's the best way to build command, authority, and credibility?

Yeah. So you can do very simple things like when you greet someone, hi, how are you? Come on in.

Why don't you use the bathroom before we get started? So I'm not asking you, would you like

to use the bathroom? I'm telling you, why don't you go use the bathroom? Why don't you have

something to drink? What can I bring you? Right? So I'm in this subtle way, I'm telling you

to go to the bathroom and you're going to go.

Because of the way I said, why don't you go to the bathroom?

No, no, go before we get started. You just said authority. Why don't you have something to drink? Oh, no, I'm good. No, have something to drink. So now. We're going to be here for a little bit. Have something to drink. so now I'm planting these little seeds telling you I'm in control. I'm not telling you, but I'm doing it subtly. Have a seat there. You know, you can show me where to sit. Or on the flip side, you could also practice something called autonomy where you let somebody choose their own seat. And that's a different tactic. So

there's two tactics here. Where would you like to sit? Yeah. Where would you like to sit? So you may use

that on me if you want to talk about a topic that I don't want to talk about. And so autonomy makes me

feel like I have a choice. You let me choose where I'm going to sit because you're going to let me

have it later. You're going to try to push me on something later. I gave you something now. The law of reciprocity means you give me something later. Exactly. But also autonomy, though, it's actually also not reciprocity. It's actually more of I feel in control. Because we don't like to feel like we're not in control.

So if you want to talk about something where I'm really uncomfortable, I don't feel like I'm in

control. I will give you control elsewhere. So I will give you control in picking where you want to

meet. I will give you control in what time. I will give you control in where you want to sit.

Little things like that you can do where that person has autonomy to choose.

We can do it here, we can talk about this or we can talk about this.

Which would you prefer?

That's, nobody likes to feel like they don't have control.

So a way that you can deal with a resistant person is by giving them some level of control.

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