It's Depression Mode. I'm John Moe. I'm glad you're here. This one is going to be intense.

You should know we'll be talking about suicide and loss, grief, helplessness. We'll also be talking about moving forward, a 10-ton weight

strapped to your back, but moving forward anyway. And this episode is a bit unusual. It's not so much

about having a mental illness as it is about watching someone close to you have it and get

destroyed by it.

My guest is Stephanie Whittles Wax.

She's the host of the podcast Last Day, which is all about things that are destroying us

and not appearing to get any better.

The first season was about opioids, the second was about suicide.

Stephanie is the author of Everything is Horrible and

Wonderful, a tragic comic memoir of genius, heroin, love, and loss. It's about the life and death

of her brother, Harris Whittles. He was a comedian, comedy writer, he was one of the minds

behind the show's Parks and Recreation, Eastbound

and Down, Master of None, brilliant comedy mind, died by heroin overdose in 2015.

As you may know, I lost my brother, Rick, to suicide. That was in 2007. He had dealt with addiction for a long time and a variety of mental

health issues over the years. He and Stephanie's brother led very different lives, but I knew

Stephanie and I shared some common experiences. We both watched our brothers suffer with

potentially fatal mental illnesses, and we couldn't really do

much about it. And it got worse, and they died. And then they're gone, and we're still here,

and then what? So this interview I had with Stephanie is more like a conversation. And like

good conversations do, it might have drawn more out of us than we were expecting.

I started by asking Stephanie who her brother was.

...