Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, statute

of lamentations. Martha brings the case against her husband, Doug. Doug is a retired high

school theater teacher. His last production was canceled in 2020 due to the pandemic. Three

years later, he's still lamenting how good the show would have been. Martha says it's

time to move on. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge

John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.

There's a moment right before the second act begins where I would walk out in character

and apologize for the show's glorification of reading, citing the dangerous influence

of literacy on children. Every night, I'd asked for a show of hands from adults who read

books for pleasure, and then I would single out one to berate them publicly. One night,

an audience member raised her hand, and I realized it was then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

So I had the honor of mocking one of our most prominent politicians for being, quote, a bookworm.

Bale of Jesse Thorn, please swear the litigants in. Martha and Doug, please rise and raise

your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

despite the fact that he had no part in the landmark School of the Arts 1998 production of

Little Shop of Horrors? It will be tough, but I do. I do. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

Well, feed me, see more here we are. Martha and Doug, you may be seated for an immediate

summary judgment in one of your favors, can either of you name the piece of culture I referenced

as I entered this courtroom? Martha, let's start with you. Do you have a guess?

Wow, I was racking my brain, trying to think of a theatrical piece while Hillary Clinton

was Secretary of State. Nothing is bowing to the surface, so I'm going to take a stab in the dark

...