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Three minutes after 10 is the time and you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC. I do find myself

wondering precisely what it is a government with

no ideas and precious little support can do in order to draw attention to itself and make it

look like they're actually governing. And this ban upon mobile phones and schools from

Gillian Keegan looks like a contender. You will be invited to prove me wrong a little later in the program.

And speaking of a little later in the program, my favourite story of the day, you know what's just happened, don't you?

Yeah, you're right. What is it? Four minutes after ten, it's Monday morning, so I've come up with the idea for a new feature, which will I've forgotten about by four minutes after 11. But my favourite story of the day, I don't even need a jingle.

I'm not going through another one of those weeks-long sagas where I try and get a little bit of

production put together for my program but get told, it's not possible. You're right at the

back of the queue. We're too busy dealing with the breakfast show or the news agents or whatever

it is. I've given up. I've given up on that.

So I don't need a jingle. I'll sing it myself.

My favourite story of the day involves something I have suggested to you,

the police should do to tackle the epidemic of bike thefts.

Not, I grant you the sexiest story in town, unless you've had your bike thefted or thiefed recently.

But I love this story because it is one of those things that adds to the usually delusional

idea that you can sit in a television studio behind a big fat microphone and actually come up with a way of

...