Cold mornings, grey skies, and the holidays are but a distant memory.

Halford's Big Sale is here to perk you up, with up to 50% off on tools, in-car tech, car cleaning, adult bikes, and much more.

You can tackle winter head-on and prepare for warmer days.

Visit Halford's online today and keep on moving for less. Halford's big

sailors live across selected retail products online at Halifers.com and in stores subject to availability.

Full T&C is apply. See Halifest.com for details. Three minutes after 10 is the time. I'm

crakey. Way ahead of the chair. Was it the human deck chair? Asked Jay Dogg. Oh no, no, you're reminding me that that's the nickname we gave him. I do apologize. Was it the human deck chair? Asked J-Dog.

Oh no,

no, you're reminding me

that that's the nickname we gave him.

I do apologise.

Was it the haunted pencil?

Is it Jacobian Reese Mogadon?

I haven't heard that one before.

It wouldn't be that spine-chilling parody

of a Victorian child catcher by any chance,

would it? The answer is Jacob Reese Moggi, says Martin in Bristol, the haunted pencil,

says Owen in High Wickham. And I mean, it is funny but not funny. It's funny, not funny, isn't it?

That if you are searching for someone so completely devoid of integrity and insight, or perhaps the better word would be intelligence, then you can

only really now go for Jacob Rees-Mogg. I find his career trajectory fascinating, because he went from

being a character that literally nobody could even conceive of putting into government. It's one of the great examples of how Brexit boiled the brains of half the country and the

entire Conservative Party.

...