In a very controversial move, Sports Illustrated has fired all of their employees and appointed

University Professor Jordan B. Peterson is head of talent for all future swimsuit covers.

Stating, when the magazine started a free fall we all knew there was

only one man with the unique ability to sniff out which broads would get men's

d'ks hard and that man is Jordan B Peterson. The statement by the board continued, when all the bloggers at the

magazine were insisting these big gals were dimes, we just took their word for it. But Mr.

Peterson was able to see what none of us here could, that Martha Stewart isn't that hot in a

bikini the man just has a third eye for identifying fine ass when asked how Mr

Peterson will fit booking talent for swimsuit covers into his busy schedule he responded by saying oh I'll make time the future of the world depends on it bucko

first they're telling you some fat brought as a snack next they've got you in the guloog and good luck getting to the front of

those bread lines without losing a finger or two to the quote unquote talent.

Mr. Peterson finished by saying it's swimsuit not swim tarp, and the old models can shimmy back to the comedic birthday cards that they belong on.

Peterson out, bitch. At this point, a board member stepped out in front of him and shuffled him off the stage before apologizing for Mr. Peterson

and insisting he was a little tired after a 14 hour day of judging sniz.

The boys. The boys cast

collapsed the boys cast

the do

prepare the serves for boys cast

the pros

the boys cost The only

The door

The door

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