Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Baylor Fjessi Thorn.

This week, Sport Reform.

Karen brings a case against her husband, Tom.

Karen is unhappy with the idea of Tom teaching their eight-year-old about faking injuries

on the soccer field.

Tom says this is simply an accepted part of the game.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Only one man can decide.

His rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents the obscure cultural

reference.

There are different circumstances when a litigant must be cautioned for unsporting behavior

in the court of Judge John Hodgman, e.g. litigant verbally distracts the other litigant during

the hearing, or if a litigant holds the other litigant for the tactical purpose of pulling

the opponent away from the microphone or preventing the opponent from getting to the studio,

or if the litigant uses a deliberate trick to pass justice to his own side with his head,

chest knee, et cetera, in order to circumvent the law, or if the litigant attempts to deceive

the judge by feigning injury or pretending to have been fouled, aka simulation.

If these laws are understood, bail if Fjessi Thorn, please swear the litigants in.

Karen and Tom, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

...