Space Satellite Scrotum Death Rays

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Society & Culture, Relationships, Personal Journals, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2022

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Distorted View Store is Open For 2022! Visit The Store Now! PROMO CODE: SATANAWAY 0:00.000 Introduction 0:53.336 Christmas Schedule 2:57.901 My Mom’s Boyfriend Was On SNL 4:02.119 Linda Finkle Of Hall Of Fame Christmas Song 7:10.821 Another Late Night Meade Mail 13:15.108 Satellite Rays Targeting A Man’s Teeth 15:44.790 Elon Woship Jamz 22:19.845 Sign Up For The Sideshow Today! 28:32.699 The Bar That Caters To Violent Drunks 29:46.606 The Fake Ministry That Nabbed $8 Million 34:25.018 Mother/Son Team Up […]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi, I'm Destiny, and I have a secret.
0:05.0	It's so hot tonight.
0:07.0	I just need to get out of this blouse, and step inside something a little more comfortable.
0:14.0	Wouldn't you like to slip inside something?
0:18.0	How about the shirt that started it all?
0:21.0	For today's 12 days of distorted view-saving steal,
0:25.0	get $5 off the Satan AWAY T-shirt.
0:30.0	That's right, assholes. It was me the entire time.
0:35.0	Yeah, that'll deckless-workin' it hard to Satan.
0:38.0	You're weird, man. No seriously.
0:40.0	What's wrong with you? You're weird.
0:42.0	Use promo code Satan AWAY for $5 off today only in the distorted view-store.
0:53.0	Hey, freaks. It's Monday, December 19th, 2022.
0:57.0	Coming up on the program today, you'd think a man being targeted by satellite lasers wouldn't be so obsessed with testicle size.
1:04.0	Plus, fairy rock and Elon Musk jams.
1:07.0	And the mother and son team that threatened to kill students and blow up a school.
1:12.0	All coming up today.
1:14.0	Some dead business and won't be boys.
1:24.0	Tears will bust like a kiss by the toys.
1:29.0	We send our hearts red-seed.
1:32.0	A world will never be.
1:37.0	Some dead business and won't be boys.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tim Henson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tim Henson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.