meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Distorted View Daily

S&M Bondage Mistress Crashes City Council Meeting

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Society & Culture, Relationships, Personal Journals, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 December 2022

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Distorted View Store is Open For 2022! Visit The Store Now! Introduction 0:00.000 Christmas Trip And Weather Warnings 3:53.046 Calling The Police Complaint Line About Some Stolen Weed, Man 8:04.458 Angry Homeless Man Is Back At It 17:00.807 Galileo Links A Space Shutt Explosion To Child Exploitation Ban 22:54.331 A Holiday Store Freakout – “Karen” Is A Slur 26:46.927 Sign Up For The Sideshow! 30:35.885 Airport Freakout Over Bad Parenting 32:02.607 Alex Jones is Bankrupt / Not Bankrupt 38:35.046 […]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It was the night before Christmas, and Santa had a boner.

0:06.2

He wanted a whore, so he picked up his cell and found her.

0:09.6

He licked, fingered, and plowed the wet bacon hole, and the cracked out whore rode

0:13.9

Santa's stiff, veiny meat pole.

0:16.7

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, it was Mrs. Claus, in Jesus Christ, did

0:21.5

she get fatter.

0:22.5

You cheating son of a bitch!

0:24.7

She screamed, the whore just laughed as Santa's ass was reigned.

0:29.0

I can't explain, Santa shouted, yeah, we're just friends, said the whore as she dismounted.

0:36.7

Santa groveled cry, didn't pleaded, I love you honey!

0:40.6

Mrs. Claus just laughed and said, yeah, well I've been fucking the Easter Bunny.

0:45.0

The divorce was messy and Santa lost it all.

0:48.1

He even gave up the elves during that frightful legal brawl.

0:51.8

Santa couldn't do it alone, so Christmas was no more, but the elves had it worse for they

0:56.4

were prisoners of war.

0:58.5

Kids were pissed without toys under their trees, those fucking contards learned the hard

1:03.5

way that in life there are no guarantees.

1:06.8

Fat and broke Santa turned to booze, why the fuck not, he had nothing else to lose.

1:12.2

He took long, strained pisses in the middle of the streets, and rolled weed with thrown

1:18.2

out paper receipts.

1:19.9

Getting high all day, he was quite the pathetic display.

1:23.7

Then one night he had an idea while lying in a ditch.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tim Henson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tim Henson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.