The following podcast is a deer media production.

Somebody call Michael Boobley because the holiday season is here and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Fucking kill me. Hello everybody. I just want to say something.

I want to say a couple fucking things.

To every mother fucker that is hoppin on to Graham and posting photos of their chestnuts roasting and their cute stockings that they're going to fill with all the hottest latest and greatest and fire place of cracklin and the Christmas tree at twanglin.

Go fuck yourself. Love Jackie. I hate Michael Boobley. I hate that fucking song.

I hate it. You know what I hate? I hate an unnecessary alternative coffee house remix like when I don't go to Starbucks, but anytime I walk have walked into a Starbucks and I hear the fucking robin song call your girlfriend in the in the style of a coffee house remix.

Or what is it? Dance in on my own. I'm in the corner. Like why does that need a remix? It doesn't. It's a bop. It fucks. It slaps. Why are you going to get some said.

Juilliard Berkeley School of Music drop out to bust out their old acoustic guitar with the broken string and strum away their feelings and initiate a menstrual cycle while I'm trying to get a fucking match a latte and not run into oncoming traffic because I hate the holidays.

Here's the deal. The whole Jolliast time of the year, the most wonderful time of the year, the season of giving the season of giving things family values, love, live, laugh, peace, joy to the world.

It's all a bit doff protest too much for me. Listen, I'm a chipper chicken. My serotonin levels are on a high all the fucking time. I've been through some shit in my life.

And even in the depths of my despair, I feel like my serotonin levels were higher than the average human being just living the fucking dream. Okay, I've been self diagnosed with toxic positivity.

I do this thing, which isn't healthy. I've been told by many like medical professionals and friends and family that I have a habit of downplaying my own moments of sadness and others moments of sadness with either a joke or a very severe worst case scenario.

So like, you know, if somebody broke their foot, I'd be like, there are people who are born with no limbs at all and they never recover. And then they just bob around life being pushed around. So sorry about your broken foot. And I do it to myself more than anyone.

But relatively speaking, I am a chipper ass chicken and the holiday season statistically, you can't fuck with facts people is the most depressing time of the year. Serotonin levels, plummet, your poor, your fat, you're unhappy, you're alone.

I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I fucking hate the holidays. These next couple episodes, buck the fuck up. If you want a wood plank that says love lives here and a Mrs. Claus mug, you need to find the different podcasts. Listen, if you are alone, if you don't have family, if you've lost a loved one, if you're going through health problems.

The holidays are not fucking fun. And even if your life is going great, my life is going the best it's ever gone in the past few weeks. I am at an all time fucking high and I see those twinkle lights and something inside my soul goes dark.

And all the fucking lights and all the glitter and all the ornaments and all the hot cocoa and all the adorned sweaters and all the ham and all the candles is not going to override the fact that maybe the holidays are sparking something in you that makes you sad. And that's fucking okay. And I'm sick of it.

But anyways, help everyone's having a great holiday and a blessed Thanksgiving.

A lot of families have different traditions of like finding a Christmas pickle or ugly sweaters. My family's Thanksgiving tradition is trying to find a hair in the various dishes because I will not name names, but there is one relative that often tends to be culinary escapades of the meal.

And also sheds frequently. So it's kind of a fun activity. Everyone gets to pill for a round and try to find the hair and

We had about 10 different relatives who got super lucky this year. It's very easy to find it's thick. It's course and it's just fun.

...