Hi everyone. Welcome to the Bitch Bible Podcast. Today I am so excited. I am joined by one of your favorite guests. It's just me. Don't worry everybody.

People are very polarized when I have

guess. I think we've all gotten into such a rhythm of me just talking to

myself, ranting and raving endlessly with you knowagey tidbits for 10 years that like when I have a

guest it really throws people off so you're welcome it's just me if you're watching

the video I I apologize.

I look like one of those endangered seals

that was stuck in an oil field

because I have been slathering my face with oil.

Me and Andrew, when I say we got into a fight, it's never a

consensual fight. It is just a one-sided fight where I'm just screaming into an

abyss and then I get a kiss on the forehead and he just exit

stage left. We're getting ready to go to Newport for the weekend and I'm all

packed we got the Jolly Jumper in the car ready to rumble and I hear the familiar

Spritz of an overpriced toner and I look into the bathroom and Andrew is on my side of the bathroom

and he's got all my skin care out and she is dabbing those under eyes

she is spraying that toner she is applying those stem cells I said Andrew

what the fuck are you doing he's like what you don't use this toner I said I use all of those toners he's like well then you didn't pack it so you don't use it I said Andrew I like to

fucking alternate okay I don't want my epidermis to get into a familiar

rhythm speaking of familiar rhythm I'm sick and tired of sharing with you I have to share everything with you and that is I have to share everything with you and that really is the struggle with marriage

it's the sharing day after day what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine That is bullshit.

We need to rewrite marital history.

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