Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking

about smoothing harsh edges. When the same word crops up over and over in someone's feedback report, it's arresting.

The one word that cropped up repeatedly for Ahmad was abrasive.

I understood why.

Ahmad was absolute.

When he told me about a seminar he had attended, he said,

that was the best training ever.

Of his boss's assistant, he said, she is the best training ever.

Of his boss's assistant, he said,

she is the best assistant in the whole company.

Describing the weekly staff meetings he sat through,

he said, those meetings suck. Of a sales group, he said,

they're all a bunch of blood suckers.

Whether he spoke high praise or complete dismissal,

a mod was all or nothing, black or white, right or wrong.

Because of his extreme positions, his personal interactions were contentious.

For example, he'd regularly say things to me like

how could you think that that's ridiculous or don't be stupid I would never do anything

like that or of course they'd think that they always say things like that about me.

When I reflected his right or wrong style back to him,

Amad said, I'm passionate that's the way I am.

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