Slop Quest 96: A Little Goes A Long Way

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

5 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 September 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Full episodes and more at patreon.com/slopquest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This week they talk about the unspoken show biz rule of writing in parts for boyfriends and girlfriends and how it destroys a script. Andy gets locked out on his porch twice in a row and might have to take shit in a bucket. Ryan gets locked out of his bedroom in a psychic attack. There’s so,e standing up for “squatter’s rights “ if you get what I mean and then O’Neill fantasizes about hiring someone off Craigslist to rip Andy off the toilet mid dump. They talk about Stainless steel toilet stock for Nancy Pelosi. Then O’Neill imagines a world where he works for the government by doing pranks on people. Then we get 5 star review that’s truly unbelievable. Then Andy watches the Chris Rock, O’Neill and Ari video and has some minor quibbles about it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	How great would that is. It's genius.
0:02.3	Howlinson say.
0:04.0	So.
0:06.2	Good morning. Good to see you, buddy.
0:09.0	Hey, dude. I saw the most L.A. thing ever yesterday.
0:12.2	What was it?
0:13.4	So a guy in like an early 90s Rolls Royce.
0:16.7	Yeah.
0:17.3	And it was just packed with order shit.
0:19.7	Awesome.
0:20.5	He was wearing like an old suit. He's like an old man. He had a handicapped placard. Dude, I'm telling you the backseat, the passage sheet, just filled with garbage. Yeah. And you're like, that guy actually probably made some money in the 90s, like a bunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he's fucking a hoarded Rolls Royce. Oh, I believe it, dude. That's fucking L.A. to a T. That goes right up with a house in the Hollywood Hills. It's literally made of sheet metal. You know what I'm talking about? Or the one that looked, that was awesome 50 years ago and is now like a dilapidated piece of shit yeah dude but
0:56.7	if they rehabbed it would be worth like six million dollars dude i saw the most l a thing ever
1:01.6	i saw a dude in a convertible McLaren okay all right he was going about 80 miles an hour
1:08.9	the back seat satan was fucking a screenplay.
1:13.5	First of all, no backseat.
1:18.3	Satan was just had it curled up.
1:20.8	It was just beaten off.
1:21.8	Yeah, he just beat up.
1:22.6	Usually he has a fleshlight.
1:23.7	Yeah, he was fucking a guy's screenplay like it was a fleshlight.
1:26.4	He goes, oh, don't worry, you'll do unpaid rewrites on this.
1:31.5	I was wondering if you have the bandwidth to come in for another meeting about this screenplay.
	...

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