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Slop Quest

Slop Quest 90 White Water Drafting

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

51.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full episodes and more available at Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Ryan’s brain is mush and Andy recounts a harrowing soup kitchen story where church ladies go nuts to some sweet ragtime jams. Then the boys try to rewrite the character of Oscar The Grouch in a more realistic manner. Ryan gets worried that his bad signing is a sign of a bad life and Andy tries to reassure him. Ryan and Ari play with a war hero’s medals and then use an old car to play Driving Miss Daisy then Andy tries to dissect what these ding dongs are getting out of this vacation role play. Andy recounts the joys of “Civil War Day” at his elementary school and the ridiculous outfits kids wore. O’Neill tries to understand the South’s obsession with the Confederacy. Then the boys dive into some Epstein talk and they talk about his aliens tricked humans into thinking gold was valuable.

Transcript

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0:00.0

How great would that is. It's genius.

0:06.0

Oh, he, kids. It's your old Uncle Ryan.

0:12.4

Oh, don't you sit on my lap. Oh, no.

0:15.4

Tell you a story.

0:16.6

Uncle Andy's sitting on Uncle Ryan's lap. I'll tell you a story about how babies are made.

0:21.9

Oh, gross.

0:24.6

You don't like that?

0:25.7

Too straight.

0:27.0

Pay the gayaway at patreon.com slash slop quest.

0:30.9

This is Ryan O'Neill.

0:32.1

My name is Andrew DeWitt.

0:33.2

Let's get to the sloppins.

0:34.7

Dude, this is what I noticed the other day.

0:39.5

80s movies obsessed with whitewater rafting.

0:43.6

I think you might have just watched a whitewater rafting.

0:46.1

No, there were a movie.

0:47.6

There were a ton of whitewater rafting movies in the 80s.

0:50.6

Okay.

0:51.2

We've lost our way in America.

0:53.3

Whitewater rafting was the most American thing there was.

0:55.9

Well, the river, let's do it now, on a muddy river with rocks in it and it fucking, there's

1:01.4

nothing in there. You can't go anywhere. You think the rivers have dried up, but that's why

...

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