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Slop Quest

Slop Quest 79 Goon Blade

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

51.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest


Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. The boys open up with some reminiscing about how hot that crazy chick who saw a fake person on the plane was. Then Andy brings in a Harbor Freight survival knife and gets roasted non-stop by O’Neill. The boys talk about the overall plan of all presidents in America. Then they invent an amazing new survival product called “The Goon Blade”. O’Neill tries to remember the melody to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and absolutely butchers it. Then we present a new segment: “O’Neill Tries To Remember The Bible”.

Transcript

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0:00.0

how great what that is it's genius oh right well well well we're back you some of you guys

0:11.8

doubted it but we're here good morning everybody welcome to slop quest a show where two of the

0:18.1

sloppiest comedians you know take the sloppiest stories and they turn them

0:21.7

into the sloppiest business ideas and movie pitches what makes us sloppy well

0:28.0

cleanliness no we're just sloppy sloppy dudes that shit dude dude real ID starts tomorrow

0:35.4

fuck yeah you know how crazy the airport's going to be?

0:38.8

Because guess what?

0:39.9

If you haven't flown in a while, that's the only place they're advertising it.

0:43.6

I know.

0:44.3

There's nowhere else where you're like, nobody, I tell you right now, people who don't fly frequently,

0:51.2

to have no idea that tomorrow they have to show up with the passport or a real

0:55.0

ID. Yeah. And there's going to be a cluster fuck. Yeah, I know. They're going to, this is,

1:00.4

what is, so your state ID means nothing. No, it means nothing, even though it should be fine.

1:06.5

For a domestic flight, it should be fine, dude. I know. I don't understand what the real ID does.

1:10.9

Do you think there's going to be any airplane people?

1:15.5

What are those companies?

1:16.4

Airlines.

1:17.6

You mean, oh, I was going to say airplane business.

1:21.2

What about those airplane people that do the flyees?

1:24.5

What do they call those?

1:25.9

Oh, passenger.

1:30.9

When travel takes a nose dive because of it do you think they're going to pressure the government into extending it again no they'll be

...

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