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Slop Quest

Slop Quest 130 Aliens of New York

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2026

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

The show starts with immediate chicanery from Ryan about Andrew’s art then immediately gets into the rise of New York City as #3 in alien abductions. Then Ryan wants to leave Andy in a field to see if he’ll get abducted. Then the boys review the new health psa about how healthy it is to crank the hog. Ryan gets angry that they didn’t check his prostate during his colonoscopy. Andy dreams about thongs as Ryan explains his plan to capture an alien. Ryan is upset that Andy doesn’t think newspapers report on bestiality that much. Andy gets his ass whooped at HEMA by a veteran and has to power through the defeat. The boys talk about Flowers For Algernon and Pope Leo. Ryan has some conspiracy theories on the Catholic Church while Andy notices how much Ryan smells like hot dogs. Then Ryan freaks out when Andy opens his bathroom window and starts shouting Ryan’s full first and last name while saying there’s doodie everywhere. Andrew gets turned on by breast reduction scars. Ryan imagines how poorly Andrew would do with online dating then impersonates Andy trying to get his brain to turn over like a shitty motor. Electric toothbrushes catch on fire and they freak out about lithium batteries. Ryan uses a selfie stick to talk on the phone.  Ryan catches Andy listening to their own podcast again and asserts that Andy must be pretending he’s listening to other people. They talk about how they both thought spontaneous human combustion would be a much bigger deal than it ended up being. Ryan tries to impress high schoolers on the ski lift and this does not go unpunished by Andy.

Transcript

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0:00.0

How great would that is. It's genius.

0:02.8

Oh, good morning, everybody.

0:07.1

Hey, guys, it's me, Ryan O'Neill, and I'm joined with guest host.

0:13.7

Stanley.

0:15.5

Tucci.

0:16.1

McGoodwell.

0:18.2

He's a professional artist.

0:19.7

He's going to talk to us about the art of Droring. Okay, my name is Andrew DeWitt. Yeah. I am a professional artist he's going to talk to us about the art of drawing okay my name is

0:22.7

andrew dewitt yeah i am a professional illustrator they call him the shitty de witty the antics

0:30.4

already pedantics listen hey erring something serious it is, dude. This could save your fucking life.

0:39.1

Okay, tell me.

0:40.8

Stay the fuck out of New York, dude.

0:42.7

Why, what's going on?

0:43.8

Number three, just moved up to number three, most likely to get abducted by alien state.

0:49.8

Oh, shit.

0:50.8

Yeah, dude.

0:51.2

Probably upstate New York, right?

0:53.0

No, New York City. Dude. Not the cat skills? No, dude, Yeah, dude. Probably upstate New York, right? No, New York City, dude. Not the Catskills? No, dude, New York City. They're just abducting a bunch of... He goes, I came out of one of the hottest nightclubs in town. I got immediately abducted by aliens. We abducted everyone from the Hamptons. They complained the entire time.

1:11.7

They're like, oh, this spaceship stinks.

1:13.6

We want this comp.

1:17.4

It's crazy, dude.

1:19.3

Who the fuck reads the thing about being abducted by aliens?

...

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