Slop Quest 129 Judgment Morning
Slop Quest
All Things Comedy
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 4 May 2026
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest
Ryan is extremely perplexed that Andy’s family used audio recordings for family memories instead of video until it’s revealed that his family couldn’t film anything without it being hooked up to a television. Ryan believes everyone has herpes and doesn’t believe Babbages existed. Andrew gets a hilarious computer virus in college but the hacker becomes a drug addict. Then Andy gets rowdy at a wedding and gives some intense unsolicited advice to the wedding guests. Ryan tries to convince Andy to become chemically castrated. Ryan then gets stuck on a ski lift with a boomer who can’t stop talking to ChatGPT. Then Ryan tries to get Andy into the latest Love on The Spectrum. Then O’Neill keeps seeing people who look like Epstein. Andy gets mistaken in college for a 5’1 dude who’s 400lbs. Finally, they add some amazing details to their Romantacy novel, “CEO Unicorn”.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | How great what that is. It's genius. |
| 0:02.0 | Oh, my God. Hey, buddy. What's going on, dude? Hey, Mr. Pooplashing. |
| 0:10.3 | You said that, uh, you said things, uh, you thought everything smelled like, uh, Jack in the box. |
| 0:16.3 | Yeah, why did what happened? Well, I had Jack in the box two days ago. |
| 0:20.7 | And you know what that is, dude? |
| 0:22.2 | What? |
| 0:22.6 | Your fucking beard, you sick fuck. |
| 0:24.8 | I think it's in my sweat. |
| 0:28.9 | Dude, maybe is, don't you using new cologne? |
| 0:31.9 | Yeah, fucking egg and cheese cologne. |
| 0:34.1 | Yeah, dude, by the way, fucking unreal. |
| 0:37.7 | Do they have food-scented cologne? |
| 0:39.8 | They do, but it's always sweet foods. |
| 0:42.0 | Well, no, but what about tacos? |
| 0:44.1 | I make tacos smelling cologne in my pits all the time. |
| 0:49.0 | He goes, smell my nutsack. |
| 0:51.3 | That smells like a tequitos. |
| 0:58.8 | Dude, well, so you're still smell, it's in your fun. Do you shampoo your fucking, yeah, I do. I shampoo my beard. I actually use dandruff |
| 1:03.8 | shampoo on my beard. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's good. They don't talk about beard dandruff. |
| 1:09.6 | But it's a real thing. Is it? Yeah. Are you being serious don't talk about beard dandruff enough but it's a real thing is it yeah are |
| 1:12.1 | you being serious i have more beard dandruff than i do head he goes i and i have a lot of head dandruff |
| 1:17.6 | just to let you know they used to call me andrew the dandruff man when i was in fourth grade and they |
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