meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Slop Quest

Slop Quest 111 Die By The Sword omny — Edit

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

 

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This week Andy brings his HEMA long sword into the O’Neill Family Beans Studio. Ryan proposes that Andy will be the next “Star Wars Kid” as he practices long sword drills in the parking lot and on his roof. Then they imagine combining Andy’s sword skills with Ryan’s new judo skills for the perfect one-two combo. O’Neill then refuses to handle Andy’s sword because he’s worried that Andy takes the sword with him to the toilet. Then they do Dave Ramsey giving Elon Musk debt consolidation advice. Then they go on a tear doing Dave Ramsey giving advice to Only Fans models.

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It's genius.

0:02.6

Oh, yeah, everybody.

0:04.8

Look at you, dude.

0:05.6

You had this get on a throne.

0:07.8

Like you're better than everybody?

0:09.6

No, it's just for my back.

0:12.3

Let it be known.

0:13.0

He thinks you're better than you.

0:15.0

He thinks you're better?

0:16.2

You couldn't even pull it off.

0:17.8

This is Ryan O'Neill.

0:19.0

He's a professional comedian.

0:20.3

I'm a professional

0:21.5

comedian with months of training under his belt. I am Andrew DeWitt. I have been paid professionally

0:28.5

for comedy, but I'm more of a professional illustrator. And an amateur night. Oh, yeah, baby.

0:36.3

Man, dude, look at this. This is a, is uh yeah describe it for the listeners you

0:40.6

walk down the street with this motherfucker fuck yes i did what do people say were women screaming i

0:45.8

practice he's coming to rape and pillage i practice in the parking lot i got a video on my phone

0:51.6

what i'm gonna show you i hey news flash i don't even need to look at your phone. There's going to be a million people to video you doing that shit. You're going to be the new fucking Star Wars kid. It did look like Star Wars Kid. When you see it, you're going to go fucking nuts, dude. It's going to be Star Wars Kid grows up. Yeah.

1:11.4

That's great.

1:12.2

Still fat is with a put in parentheses.

1:19.2

I have never been more happy.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from All Things Comedy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of All Things Comedy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.