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Slop Quest

Slop Quest 107 Thanksgiving Toilet Blackout

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

51.2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 December 2025

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Patreon.com/slopquest for full episodes and much, much more!

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Andy almost blackouts on the toilet. Then an old listener gets out of prison and is confused on what episode of the podcast we’re on. Ryan finds out that the Japanese are experimenting by filling butts with liquid oxygen. They speculate on the sports related applications of this brave new technology. Then they talk about america’s new nicotine obsession. Andy finds the earliest recorded jokes. Then Andy finds a giant tittied German chick online and rages when O’Neill says he doesn’t care. Then he tries to get Andy to restart Babes of Dongaria. They talk about horny Boomer comments on public profiles with all their real world information on it. Then O’Neill fantasizes about Andy being the only man in history to be sex trafficked. O’Neill brags about his “Connect 4” mind games that makes his wife second guess all her moves. This infuriates Andrew to the point that Dark Andy returns. Then O’Neill brags about how good he is at sheep sheering and how many alpaca items he has.

Transcript

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0:00.0

how great would that is it's genius

0:04.5

how good

0:06.5

yeah

0:06.9

call off the dogs more like suck all our hogs

0:10.1

remember when O'Neill

0:13.4

called ranch sour cream with dots

0:16.2

I don't remember that at all

0:18.6

I have no idea

0:19.4

we say so much crazy shit I never remember My brain is just starting to come back online. Yeah, is it? I told the family about your trip. White knuckle and it through. Family story time. White knuckle and it through that story, dude. Yeah, it is a white knuckler. It's a white knuckler because you're going to be jerking it the whole time. You could have such a strong grip on your cock. My daughter came up to me multiple times. She goes, that didn't sound like a very relaxing trip. She just kept saying that. Wait, she knew that it wasn't a relaxing trip.

0:54.3

Well, after the story, she knew.

0:55.6

Okay, yeah, it was.

0:57.0

But I'm literally just starting to settle my brain back in.

0:59.8

It is online now, so I'm ready to go.

1:02.0

Yeah, all right.

1:02.7

You seem like you're ready to go.

1:03.8

I'm fucking firing on five out of six cylinders.

1:07.8

Almost blacked out on the toilet last night.

1:16.6

It's such a, dude, you're the biggest. I had to hold onto the sink. Hey, God. Here it comes the biggest shit of my life. My, my cat was giving me allergies up the

1:22.6

ass. I took two allergies. Why were you sniffing your cat while you're taking a shit?

1:26.6

No, dude. It goes better at the toilet. Dude, I picture you holding your cat just smelling her while you're taking a shit being like, well, they've got to have these allergies to block out the smell of my shit. Just keep the bad spirits away from giving me disease. Holy shit, dude. Yeah, so I had like, my eyes were watering like crazy.

1:46.1

Why did you have the cat in the bathroom with you? The cat wasn't in the bathroom. I was already allergic. Oh, you go. I was already having allergic reaction. Were you also using the litter box? Yeah, that was the problem. Let me scratch. Oh, I'm scratching up all this dander. Yeah. So I had taken two allergy pills.

2:01.2

And you called you in the morning?

...

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