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Kimberly welcome to the program. Hello, Dr. Laura. Hello. What could I do for you?

Well, I just want some advice. My husband of 28 years and I just split about five months ago and I just need to know if we we were separated before I actually physically moved out.

We were we were living in separate ends of their home and doing life pretty separate and and why was that you know why was that.

I think it started years ago he just we had a couple kids with special needs and he would not come home he would start staying late at work or just if there was a problem at home

we just wouldn't bother and it just escalated from there it just over time it just more and more he wouldn't be involved or wouldn't come home.

And then at the end of it he wasn't or the last three or to five years he wasn't we weren't sleeping in the separate bed because he would go to bed in the other bedroom and just just more and more separation over time.

And I just I just couldn't take it anymore so I just left I figured he told me he doesn't feel anything he anything but grief fear and hopelessness and he doesn't want to talk about anything when I did talk about issues he would just if it wasn't in the right tone or the right manner he he would just shut it down.

There was no trying to discuss things or work on how old are the cold are the children now.

They're adults now that my youngest is 19.

And how what do they say about if they felt hurt neglected rejected by their dad have they dealt with any of that.

No there is definitely some issues especially my youngest is a girl and she really feels rejected her by her father you know.

So she is in counseling but still working through that and she just can't they just can't seem to connect emotionally with him you know difficult doesn't care about them.

He's ashamed of them and angry that he had special needs kids.

Yeah I I really don't.

But as far as my marriage did I I don't know did I do the wrong thing I just.

I don't know I'm just.

Can you finish I need you to finish sentences so I know what you're talking about did you do the wrong thing by walking out on a man who neglected and rejected his children.

Because they were handicapped in some way.

I'm surprised you didn't throw them off a cliff.

Well it's the two older ones that had issues but our oldest son was abusive to so there are some different dynamics to that.

I'm sorry who was abusive.

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