Setting Boundaries Without Power Struggles

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2026

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A mother writes that she's been struggling with her 5-year-old daughter lately, who's been "provoking and testing boundaries on a new level." She has been especially harsh on her two-year old sibling, but when this mom and her partner step in, it inevitably leads to confrontation, tears, and hurtful words. Janet suggests an empathic approach—understanding the "why" behind this behavior -- and explains when, why, and how her approach to setting effective limits works. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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1:02.5	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled.
1:06.1	Today I'm going to be responding to a question that I received in an Instagram message, actually,
1:11.6	from a parent. She's wondering about her five-year-old's behavior, which has seemed to have gone
1:16.6	off lately. And she mentions a specific incident where the parent tried to set a boundary, and it
1:23.6	didn't go smoothly. What I feel like I can help her with and hopefully help all of you listening with
1:30.5	is how to simplify this idea of setting a limit or expressing a boundary.
1:37.6	And knowing when, why, and how to do that, why it works, how it works best, and how it can be most effective and
1:47.7	easiest for us to do once we get the hang of this. So I'll be speaking to this parent's
1:54.0	specific issue that she's having, but know that the information I'm going to share also applies
1:59.8	to every kind of limit that we might need to set or every kind of behavior that our child's having.
2:06.0	Whether it's an issue we're able to set a limit on effectively or not.
2:10.7	So that's the when.
2:13.2	And then also how to do that and why this works, which is also tied into why our child's doing
2:20.7	the behavior in the first place.
	...

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