Series 2, Episode 5

As It Occurs To Me

Comedy.co.uk

Christian, To, Occurs, As, Dan, Herring, Richard, Reilly, Kennedy, Me, Tetsell, It, Aiotm, Emma, Comedy

4.6 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 June 2010

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Real Andrew Collings has banned any of the Tiny Andrew Collings family from appearing on the show. Will there be anything funny in it? And will they pay any attention anyway? Richard is angry with Dettol and their plans to destroy the world and ITV HD for making him miss the one moment where England looked like they might win the World Cup. But everyone deserves a second chance whether it's fumbling goal keepers or shit broadcasters. Emma is in trouble on Twitter as usual and Dan has joined the iPhone revolution at the most ridiculous time possible. Tam Dalyell is on hand to congratulate the English and Kriss Akabussi gets a booty call. The audience are the filthiest and most depraved thus far, but into the 'As It Occurs To Me concept'. And I wouldn't like to be Matthew the Gospel writer once this has gone out. It's revenge time for him making King Herod look like a dick. And who has Richard been mistaken for? Antony Worrall Thompson? Oh for fuck's sake. Push me in a river now. And leave me with my rats. Or bats. Or cats.

Transcript

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0:00.0	As it occurs to me
0:03.2	occurs to me as it occurs to me
0:06.5	and please welcome the baby it's all occurred to this week
0:13.2	Tiny, tiny Andrew Colling.
0:15.7	Hello, me tiny tiny Andrew Collins.
0:25.0	This is Ai-O-T-T-T-T-T.
0:29.0	A-I-O-T-T-T-T-T.
0:30.0	Hello, audience, I love you.
0:37.0	Aside, I don't.
0:39.0	I think you're all cockholes.
0:42.0	Let's see what's it care to be this week.
0:45.0	Oh, for fucks, say, stop this right now, get that baby out of here.
0:51.0	I thought we got rid of this pox of tiny collings is I promised the real
0:55.1	Andrew collings that there would be none of the tiny collings is on this show
0:58.1	anymore.
0:59.1	fuck Andrew collins! Stop don't say that he really doesn't like what we're doing.
1:05.0	I don't want you on anymore either.
1:08.0	You're overrunning this thing like vermin.
1:10.0	It was funny to begin with this gondify, It's not funny anymore, and this is my show
1:14.2	No, it's mine's it's mine
1:17.0	It's not you can't have a baby presenting a show about what's happened to them this week
1:21.7	What will that be I slept all day long, did a poo in my nappy
	...

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