I amla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good and making my

relationships work. I have been divorced three times twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships.

So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes.

Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I-Heart Radio. So very often in relationships we want to do the right thing even when we know the

right thing may be the wrong thing.

Because see, the right thing at the wrong time

is still the wrong thing.

And the right thing at the wrong way

is still the wrong thing.

So very often we get caught up in our commitment to the person and we lose

sight of our commitment to ourselves. My first caller is a really great example of how to be honest with yourself and to choose you in a relationship.

Let's say hello.

Good afternoon beloved. Welcome to the R-Spot and what is a challenge issue question dilemma that you are bringing to the spot today.

Hi, I grew up in a Christian home and I was taught the importance of love and forgiveness, but even with those lessons,

I struggled to understand like what forgiveness really means because when you experience hurt it stays with you and I see families move forward but when it comes to your significant

I've heard that hurt is used as a weapon and it's so much easier to walk away.

Because my husband and I, we've been together for 30 years and married for 26 and we've had a lot of ups and downs.

And our downs nearly broke us and he's taking care of me through a cancer diagnosis and three major surgeries and he has always been supportive and has never been physically or verbally disrespectful in any any way but every time

we have one little dispute I'm yielding his past mistakes over him like a weapon.

And I feel the pain and the separation it causes.

But yet, for me, true forgiveness seems impossible.

And I don't want that for us.

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