In the new

book of Matthew Jesus tells us that the greatest among you shall be your servant.

How much different would your marriage look if you

and your mate constantly tried to out serve each other? I'm John Fuller along with Dr.

Greg Smalley and his wife Erin. They lead the Focus Marriage Department here.

And Bill and Pam Farrell are great friends of the ministry.

They've been married for over 40 years.

They're delightful and have a lot of energy.

They spoke with Focus President Jim Daly about the need to serve your spouse.

Hey, let me ask you in that same vein though with stress, more in the couple-to-couple relationship,

not with the kids, but how do we integrate the different approaches you know is

sometimes to your point earlier men can pull back if they're feeling

well we have to take turns.

Like this falls under that notion.

We all like to talk about what we don't like to live,

that in love we're supposed to serve one another.

Yeah.

Like when you serve one another,

it feels like you've served one another.

So when it comes to stress you have to take turns. Like you you cannot allow the wife to talk

through all of the stuff that's stressing her and go to an easy box to relieve stress at the same time.

So you have to take turns and the first thing we encourage you to do is decide who needs

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