You have found the Titus podcast, Armageddon Update, with host Christopher Titus, Rachel Bradley, and Ken Highland.

And now, here's Christopher Titus with this week's Armageddon Update.

I'm Christopher Titus. People in this is the Armageddon Update.

Government shutdown and the Secretary of War

Picks if. Pisses off the guys who actually handle war. On Tuesday, 800 generals, admirals, and leaders from our military brought to Quantigo from their posts around the world.

Totally good idea to get all the most important people in one room.

Was it for a war plan to dominate the planet?

Our aliens finally threatening to end us?

And we need to have all the leaders together

to get them ready for an invasion from another galaxy?

Welcome to Earth.

Keep my plant.

Name out your fucking mouth.

Nope.

Turns out Whiskey Pete Keg's breath was shaken because he couldn't stir any of our military's leaders.

To even fucking smile.

So many of us were worried that he was going to demand a loyalty oath to Trump, or he was going to fire a few hundred

generals to turn us into a dystopian authoritarian healthscape.

Nope.

Turns out, it was shaving tips and a recommendation for our generals to attend Zumba classes.

Now, I've been public speaking since I was 19 years old, and honestly, between you and I,

to bring in a bunch of accomplished professional badass as men and

...