Season 5, Ep 88 - Ancient Thriving Turtle (w/ Olivia Nielsen)
Hello From The Magic Tavern
Arnie Niekamp
4.8 • 11.8K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2026
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hildy the ancient turtle is back and she's mad at her children for putting her in an Assisted Thriving Community.
Credits
Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Hildy Shiblin: Olivia Nielsen
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal Rifai
Associate Producer: Anna Havermann
Post-Production Coordination: Garrett Schultz
Editor: Stephen Dranger
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Theme Music: Andy Poland
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, hello, I'm Malik. I'm Jamie. And this is World Gone Wrong, where we discuss the unprecedented times we're living through. Can your manager still schedule you for night shifts after that werewolf bit you? My ex-boyfriend was replaced by an alien body snatcher, but I think I like him better now. Who is this dude showing up in everyone's old pictures? My friend says the sewer alligators are reading maps now. |
| 0:22.1 | When did the cuts who start making that humming sound? |
| 0:24.8 | We are just your normal millennial roommates processing our feelings about a chaotic world in front of some microphones. |
| 0:30.8 | World Gone Wrong. |
| 0:32.5 | A new fiction podcast from Audacious Machine Creative, creators of unwell, a Midwestern Gothic mystery. |
| 0:40.9 | Learn more at audacious machine creative.com. |
| 0:44.7 | Find world gone wrong in all the regular places you find podcasts. |
| 0:49.1 | I love you so much. |
| 0:51.0 | I mean, you could up the energy a little bit. |
| 0:52.6 | You could up the energy. |
| 0:53.7 | I actually don't take notes. That was good. I'm just kidding could, like, up the energy a little bit. You could up the energy. I actually don't take notes. |
| 0:56.0 | That was good. |
| 0:57.5 | I'm just kidding. You sounded great. |
| 0:59.0 | So did you. |
| 1:04.8 | Hello, downtown Pittsburgh. |
| 1:07.6 | No, wait, what was the note I was given? |
| 1:09.8 | Oh, yes, make it more general. People of |
| 1:12.5 | Earth. The following podcast is not real. There's no stamp of podcast authenticity. No use-by date |
| 1:19.7 | stamped on the bottom. And believe me, if this medium had an expiration date, we would be well |
| 1:25.3 | past it. The only thing real about this venture is, |
| 1:29.2 | listening until it's over always seems to take a real long time. |
| 1:33.8 | But the sooner we start, the sooner it's over. |
... |
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