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Transcript

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0:00.0	Let's say you love sports, but are also, you know, a busy person.
0:04.1	You want to know the latest sports news, but don't want to sit through a two-hour podcast.
0:08.8	Alright, if we're talking about you right now, then check out the new podcast from Wondery.
0:12.9	Listen to the lead starting 5 on Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:23.9	People of Earth, the following podcast is not real.
0:27.4	But we seem to have produced another one, and it's time for you to listen to it.
0:31.9	I know, I know, but I don't want to hear any excuses.
0:35.8	Your physical therapist ordered you to pace yourself.
0:38.8	For every carefully plotted, thoughtfully written audio production you enjoy, you're supposed
0:43.0	to then listen to something like this.
0:45.8	For every wooden overcoats or limetown, you gotta throw in some empty calories to give
0:50.6	that sense of wonder a break.
0:52.8	You know, with every few steaks, you gotta toss in one of those Reese's big cups with
0:57.1	potato chips mixed in.
0:58.7	Yes, that's a real thing, boy, I hope shredding your planet's environment was worth it.
1:03.0	So, if you're listening, subconscious, hypothalamus, sense of dramatic possibility, take a load
1:09.5	off.
1:10.5	We will not be taxing you.
1:12.5	So, expectations properly adjusted, sit back and enjoy the show.
1:39.4	Hello from the Magic Tavern, a weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon.
1:43.7	I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp.
1:45.0	If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.
	...

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