People of Earth, the following podcast is not real.

Now, before you listen, a couple of points of order.

Not real, which I just mentioned.

Also, you can save our files to your hard drive.

But, you know, don't get rid of any family photos to make room for us.

We don't carry any Trojan Horse viruses, but we're the kind of show that feels like we should, you know?

Real gas station sushi level audio entertainment.

Finally, for all of our audience who listens on headphones with the volume turned up.

This is the one with Matt Young, so let's just nip that tonight as in the bud, shall we?

Now, give your eyes a break.

Tell that part of your brain that looks for a narrative through line and subtle character details to sit this one out.

Sit back and enjoy the show.

Hello from the Magic Tavern.

A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune.

I'm your host Arnie Neatcamp.

If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.

Six years and like three or four months ago, I fell through a dimensional portal bind to Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune.

Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift.

And I use that to upload a podcast chronicling our quest to defeat the Dark Lord.

I am joined, as always, by my co-host Shunt the Talking Badger.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, Arnie, this bar is so cool.

...