Today's episode of the Skating Atheist is brought to you by the Jehovah's Witness Protection

program.

So if you're tired of the J-Dub's loitering on your porch and you find that candles

and birthday cake just don't scare them off the way they used to, turn to the experts

and cruel and elaborate front porch security systems.

Ag now and get three free alligators when you upgrade to the new Moton drawbridge package.

Jehovah's Witness Protection because there are worse things to have on your porch than

a flaming bag of shit.

And now the Skating Atheist.

And the Lord showed me that Satan wounded me as a woman and so therefore I was carrying

that pain in my body until I grew into a tumor.

Hi, I'm Phil from The Weekend Out and we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men.

It's Thursday, at September 19th and this sentence is a palindrome, more than a lap

of seagitness seat.

I'm your host, No Illusions, and from Rapture City, New York, New York, this is the Skating

Atheist.

On this week's episode, Lucinda will join us in the Holy Babel segment to take the

edge off the concubine gang-rave jokes.

Christians will drink poop and will learn that every time a pastor beats you off, a fairy

gets its wings.

But first, the Diatry.

I got a friend who has one of those jobs where occasionally you have to take phone calls

...