SC 97 - My Partner Doesn't Want To Get Married But I Do
Relationship School Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.6 • 981 Ratings
🗓️ 13 February 2017
⏱️ 14 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn't, there will be problems. You both need to get crystal clear and determine how "negotiable" this is. Listen to the podcast for more detailed info on what you can do about this common dilemma
SHOWNOTES
- What if your partner won’t work on it with you? [1:00]
Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been dating 2+ years and have been unable to move forward and feel secure in our relationship because I believe in marriage and he does not. That said, he does believe in committed monogamous partnership, just not the ‘institution’.
I love and want to be with him, but it feels like we’ll forever be in this eternal impasse. Any suggestions on how to get over this hurdle, or is it simply time to move on?
- The institution of marriage [3:00]
- What are you really scared of? [6:00]
Question 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We both have lost a spouse and have 5 kids between us. A year ago we got engaged and were living together for 5 months. He became overwhelmed with the demands of a large, blended family and left taking his two children with him. After therapy and 9 painful months of hurting one another, we’re giving it an earnest try and restarting the relationship. What is lacking for me is commitment. We are no longer engaged and have no plans to live together.
I took one of your courses and understand my part - I understand that the relationship has to meet my needs or I need to leave. He’s not willing to commit to me through marriage and will only live in two houses as the blended family is too hard of a situation with him.
Is it true that the only way this relationship can survive is if he moves forward towards meeting my needs of commitment and living together at least part of the time?
- Your ‘Non-Negotiable Needs’ [9:00]
- Your Action Step [12:00]
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | So, Hey guys, Jason here. This is a Ask Me Anything episode and we have two questions from |
| 0:26.6 | listeners like you and they're really about marriage and not marriage. |
| 0:32.2 | When one person is into marriage and the other person doesn't want to make that commitment. |
| 0:36.1 | So I think you're gonna like this one check it out. |
| 0:41.6 | Okay welcome back to the Smart Couple Podcast and Smart Couple Show, where we talk about |
| 0:49.3 | long-term relationship specifically and when you understand how to do long-term relationship well, it's kind of like the master skill. |
| 1:00.0 | You can do other relationships easier. |
| 1:03.4 | That's just my experience anyway. |
| 1:05.6 | And I see that in other people. |
| 1:07.8 | If I can, you know, the real test is can I do conflict with the person I'm closest to, i.e. my husband, my wife, my partner, life partner, soulmate. |
| 1:19.2 | If you can work your shit out with that person, you can work it out with almost anybody. And if they're not a willing |
| 1:25.8 | partner of course, then you get to work it out inside your own heart, which is extremely |
| 1:30.8 | valuable skill, that you don't need another person to work it out. |
| 1:36.4 | Now that's for like friends and family and people that will never ever change co-workers. And when you have a long-term partner guys you got to |
| 1:50.0 | both be involved in working it out. I get so many questions about, well yeah but what if my partner won't work on it with me? |
| 1:57.6 | It's not going to happen. So I will repeat myself every single time about that. All right, it's not going to happen for you. |
| 2:07.6 | Okay, here's our first question. There's two questions today that are very similar, so I'm gonna I'm gonna go through them both all right |
| 2:14.1 | so the first question is from Casey and I'm not sure where Casey your podcast, I haven't been able to stop |
| 2:30.0 | binge listening. Thanks for sharing, cool. My boyfriend and I have been dating |
| 2:34.0 | two-plus years and have been unable to move forward and feel secure in our |
| 2:38.2 | relationship because I believe in marriage and he does not. |
| 2:43.6 | This is a big one. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jayson Gaddis, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Jayson Gaddis and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.