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The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

SC 67 - 3 Steps To Become More Resilient Before, During & After A Fight with Rick Hanson

The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7998 Ratings

🗓️ 31 August 2016

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It is possible to rewire your brain in relationships and build inner strength. In fact, if you don’t work toward this, you’ll be in trouble down the road when the allostatic load catches up to you later in life. In this episode I interview Dr. Rick Hanson. He’s a passionate expert on mindfulness, the brain, neuroscience and relationships. We geek out on the intricacies of the brain but he also brings some very practical tools and insights on how we can improve our relationships by using the natural genius of our mind. Lots of notes to take on this one! Hang in there. It can get dense. 

 

SHOWNOTES

  • Why Jayson was anti-marriage until age 34 [2:00]
  • How did Dr. Hanson get so passionate about brain science and relationships? [11:00]
  • A Native American story about love and hate [13:00]
  • Why is so difficult for couples to work their shit out? [17:30]
  • What are two lessons from the wiring of our ancestors’ nervous systems? [19:30]
  • Two practices to rewire your brain to build your inner psychological strength [22:00]
  • How to stop the negativity train of our mind when we’re already triggered [25:00]
  • Tips for developing ourselves before we get into a fight with our partners [32:30]
  • What happens in our brains when we are triggered by our partner? [46:00]
  • How being chronically frustrated, lonely, let down, disconnected impacts the brain and body. [51:30]
  • The ratio between positive interactions and negative interactions [60:00]
  • A 10-day challenge to the listener on how to radically shift the dynamic in your relationship. [65:00]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

And the more your life sucks, the more you need to do what I'm saying here. So, Hey there Smart Couple listeners. Welcome back to the Smart Couple

0:27.0

I'm your host, Jason G relationship student teacher geek freak and father

0:38.4

husband yeah that kind of thing.

0:43.0

So what's up?

0:45.0

If you're new, welcome.

0:47.0

If you're returning, welcome back.

0:49.0

Thanks for listening.

0:51.0

And as always, I like to explain the context of this podcast,

0:58.0

which is really about helping you grow

1:01.0

and have great relationships.

1:03.0

Particularly, it's about long-term relationship like marriage,

1:08.0

doesn't have to be, but long-term partnership.

1:12.0

And why I care about that is because from my own experience with myself and others it's very difficult to do long-term relationship well. It's kind of an advanced move in life,

1:30.0

yet it has the potential to reap the most rewards

1:34.8

relationally in your life.

1:37.8

So I am really intrigued about how to do long-term relationship partly because most people don't do it

1:45.8

very well and they get divorced or they stay married and miserable.

1:51.0

And if you look around in your own life, there's probably very few people in your life that have an inspiring marriage to you that you see.

1:59.0

I remember before my 30s, really before about 34 years old, I was completely anti-marriage and

2:09.6

anti-kids because I, it looked like a shit show to me. I didn't see anybody that looked like they

2:15.7

were having a good time even though most people would say they are. It's like Facebook

2:22.3

where everyone posts the chipper happy updates and very few people

...

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