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The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

SC 35 - 3 Words To Instantly Transform A Fight - With Gaby and Raj

The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7999 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2016

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this fun and enlightening episode, I interview Gaby and Raj, two powerful relationship coaches and teachers with a unique perspective on marriage, conflict and personal growth. They are committed to spreading one message—if you are struggling to have a sense of play, peace or passion in your relationship, it’s not your fault (relationships can be seriously challenging!). And they share how resolving conflict doesn’t have to be so serious or significant. I love how artfully they weave lightness, humor and play into their work with couples.

SHOWNOTES

  • What did one guest say at their engagement party that gave them a reality check? [4:50]
  • How did Gaby and Raj get into relationship work? [5:36]
  • One key distinction on how to view struggles in a relationship [8:15]
  • The two things that define a fight [10:10]
  • Three words that can transform a fight in an instant [13:35]
  • Introverted man and extroverted woman [16:50]
  • How to reframe the things you don’t like about your partner [20:03]
  • Why we attract our opposite in a partner [24:16]
  • Does the behavior define the person? [24:55]
  • What role does community play in a marriage? [25:15]
  • What to say to each other before each meal. [34:28]
  • Different versions of fights [38:40]

 

Transcript

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0:00.0

What you want to do? Boom, another episode of the Smart Couple Podcast. Here we go.

0:25.0

What's up Smart Couple Tribe? People who care about having amazing long-term relationships

0:32.0

and don't want to quit, bail out, get divorced, or screw it up.

0:38.0

Because there's so much to mess up in a relationship.

0:42.0

We act like children sometimes, have you noticed that? And we

0:47.0

react like scared animals sometimes in a relationship.

0:52.5

And it's amazing many years into a relationship

0:55.5

you can still act like a scared animal.

0:58.2

You can be hiding behind a rock for years on end.

1:01.4

Or just when your partner says something with that tone of voice, you become

1:06.0

a little baby deer and you're hiding in the grass and you feel very threatened.

1:13.0

So relationship is really fascinating to me.

1:17.0

And I love that I'm studying this my whole life

1:20.0

and I've made my life out of this and I love meeting and connecting with people who share that

1:28.7

enthusiasm and joy around connection and relationship and intimacy.

1:33.6

And today is another one of those days where I got to meet two really, really cool people who

1:39.0

have a great relationship and who are teaching and sharing what they've learned with people like you.

1:45.0

I think you're really going to enjoy this episode where I interview Gabby and Raj of relationship fun and games and they're kind of like their brand.

1:54.4

They appear to me and I experience them as playful, dynamic,

2:00.6

and deep.

2:02.4

So I like these guys. what you'll notice I want you to pay special attention to their male female masculine feminine dynamic and what we talk about there.

2:12.0

If you're with a man who is, let's say, more kind and mellow,

...

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