SC 143 - Boundaries & Needs
The Jayson Gaddis Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.7 • 999 Ratings
🗓️ 24 July 2017
⏱️ 12 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
QUESTION:
Since a boundary of mine is about to be breached - again - does that spell the end of this particular partnership?
I've been lying to myself and my partner about my ok-ness with her quarterly 7+ day adventures with a supposedly platonic friend of hers. It took almost a year to figure that out and come to a place of acceptance with it. Last night during a semi-routine check-in conversation I was finally able to be honest with myself and with her that these trips, which started after she and I began seeing each other just over a year ago, are not ok with me - to the point of being non-negotiable. It turns out that I need my partner to have me as their primary adventure person.
In less than two weeks, my partner and this friend of hers are scheduled to embark on a 9 day climbing journey together.
- Alex, CA
SHOWNOTES
- Alex’s question [1:00]
- When people use spirituality as an excuse for not standing up for their needs [2:00]
- How to find win-win when making requests with your partner [4:00]
- The difference between setting setting boundaries with your partner and controlling them [6:00]
- When is it best to take what we’ve learnt from this relationship as practice for the next? [9:00]
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So, Welcome to the Smart Couple Show and Podcast. |
| 0:25.0 | This is an Ask Me Anything episode and I've got a question queued up from Alex in California. |
| 0:34.0 | And I think this is a good one. |
| 0:39.0 | So we here at the Smart Couple |
| 0:42.0 | strive to help you in your relationship life, |
| 0:44.0 | particularly your long-term relationship life. |
| 0:47.0 | And, you know, if you want to do relationship well, |
| 0:52.0 | you both need to work on that and do it well |
| 0:56.3 | It's I repeat myself a lot there and it's because I continue to get questions |
| 1:04.4 | My partner won't blank. |
| 1:09.7 | Translation is my partner won't pull their weight. |
| 1:15.0 | It's, you know, it's not going to work out guys. Alex from Sacramento, California asks, |
| 1:18.5 | since the boundary of mine is about to be breached again, |
| 1:21.0 | does that spell the end of this particular partnership if I'm standing |
| 1:23.8 | in my power and fully honoring my needs the answer that question is yes so he's |
| 1:28.4 | already answering his own question okay it's good information, but check out the backstory here. |
| 1:35.0 | Back story is, I've been lying to myself and my partner about my okayness with her |
| 1:40.4 | quarterly seven-plus day adventures with a supposedly platonic friend of hers. |
| 1:45.0 | It took almost a year to figure that out and come to a place of acceptance with it. |
| 1:50.0 | Last night during a semi-routine check-in conversation I was finally able to be honest with myself |
| 1:54.8 | and with her that these trips which started after she and I began seeing each other just over a year ago |
| 1:59.4 | are not okay with me to the point of them being non-negotiable. |
... |
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