SC 142 - Heal Your Past Through Self-Acceptance & Community - Christian Pankhurst
Relationship School Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.6 • 981 Ratings
🗓️ 19 July 2017
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Imagine you're 12 years old, at home watching tv, ears pricked up as you hear your dad pulling into the driveway. Every part of your nervous system listening to the revving of the engine, the slam of the car door, the keys in the front door.
All these things might be the difference between being greeted cheerfully, being ignored, or being beaten. It doesn't take long to become an expert at knowing what's coming.
The levels of sensitivity we develop to these dynamics as kids has a direct impact on what we get triggered by, how we get triggered, whether we fight, run or freeze.
Sadly, many people never get the chance to undo & heal the hurt of abuse and neglect from their childhood, so many of us suffer with emotional blocks, blindspots and triggers for the rest of our lives.
Christian Pankhurst is doing the work to help us heal those wounds.
In this episode, we talk about some practical steps to help you take control of the emotional triggers & untangle our shame through, what Christian calls 'Heart Intelligence' (or Heart IQ™)
Here are a few of the highlights:
SHOWNOTES
- Christian’s story [8:00]
- Growing up with a violent father [17:00]
- How to accelerate your self-awareness with ‘circle work’ [19:00]
- The dangers of the dysfunctional, disconnected masculine [21:00]
- A tip for men on tracking their experience for increased self awareness [25:00]
- The critical difference between ‘Triggered’ and ‘Non-Triggered’ energy [30:00]
- A reframing question that can turn your pain into productive forward motion [34:00]
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the question that we often ask to couples and to individuals is not, |
| 0:04.3 | are you in pain, but what are you doing with your pain? |
| 0:07.6 | That's the important question. the Hey, what's up and welcome back to another episode of the relationship schools Smart Couple |
| 0:34.4 | Podcast. I'm your host, Jason Gannis, and I am grateful to be here as your guide and friend on the journey. This is episode number 142. We've been |
| 0:48.9 | at this a while. So thanks for sticking with us if you are a regular listener. |
| 0:54.0 | Thanks for sharing this with your friends. |
| 0:56.0 | I get emails all the time and I have people come up to me here in Boulder. |
| 1:00.0 | Please introduce yourself, by the way, if you ever see me here in Colorado especially. |
| 1:06.7 | And I love it when people come up to me and they're like, hey, I listen to your podcast. |
| 1:09.5 | What's up, Jason? |
| 1:10.9 | So get over your awkwardness and just interrupt me and say hi. |
| 1:15.0 | All right, I love that. |
| 1:16.6 | And it's so cool because I know that I'm having an impact. |
| 1:18.7 | It's weird to talk into this mic and never hear from people. |
| 1:23.8 | I hear from some people, sure, and I share it on social media. |
| 1:26.9 | But some of you introverted quiet types |
| 1:29.2 | that have never sent me an email or have never commented on social media, it's kind of cool when you come out of the |
| 1:34.8 | woodwork and you say, thanks, or boy that had an impact on me, or gosh, I started listening |
| 1:41.4 | differently. That means a lot to me. It's cool. It's like, all right, let's keep going. All right, that's fuel for me to keep rocking it out here. |
| 1:50.0 | All right, as you know, this podcast is for you if you're into growth and development because the growth mindset gets somewhere in a relationship and that somewhere is usually somewhere better. |
| 2:00.0 | The fixed mindset, which is usually about comfort and security and I don't want to change I am afraid of change and don't rock my boat and I like it how it is |
| 2:09.1 | Doesn't get you a great relationship over time. It might get you a great relationship for six months, but not |
... |
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