You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

well, there's nothing you can't ask on the savage lovecast.

Hang out with a bunch of gay guys, say on a deck with booze in the summer.

And you'll almost always hear jokes about how we were all seduced into homosexuality.

How we all spend every weekend in bathhouses, taking loads and slings,

how we're all attracted to boys. I said there were always jokes. I didn't say the jokes were always

funny. And you'll hear stuff, jokes, comments, quotes from guys who identify with tragic women.

From Maria Vermania to Judy Garland to Britney Spears, it's a long-running theme. A lot of the jokes game and tell

each other about each other on decks with drinks in our hands. Again, not all of them funny. A lot of

those jokes are about the lies we've been told or we were told about ourselves, particularly

the lies we were told growing up. Lies we were told by our parents, by our peers,

by our preachers and teachers, lies we were told over and over again about being gay,

long before most of us realized that we were ourselves gay. And that's a big problem in our

lives because we internalized those lies that we're told about ourselves

long before we realize we're gay and then we have to unlearn all those lies. We have to

throw them all up and it's not an easy process, especially when you have to help your family

unlearn the lies they were telling you, the lies they told you about you, the lies they were

told and believed. To make it to one of those decks filled with gay men, which isn't my scene

because I'm an introvert and I'm not a drinker or a swimsuit person, but I've been on enough of

those decks to know what they're like. To make it to one of those decks, you've got to come out.

And to come out, you have to accept yourself and to accept yourself. You have to really deprogram yourself. You have to

...