You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

well, there's nothing you can't ask on the savage love cast.

I was deeply saddened to learn, first thing in the morning before I could even get out of bed,

that the middle-aged wives of prominent evangelical Christian leaders have better game than I do.

I have been to swimming pools. I have swam. I have swam. I have swam in

swimming pools. I have lusted in my heart after pool boys, but I am no Becky Falwell. That's assuming it

was Becky and not Jerry. That would be Jerry Falwell Jr. prominent Christian leader and recently suspended president of Liberty University, who first picked up Giancarlo Grande, a then 20-year-old pool boy, that the Falwells met at a pricey Miami Beach hotel back in 2012.

Again, that's something I've never done.

The Falwells, of course, are obscenely wealthy and prominent evangelical leaders because half of Mr. Falwell's DNA once resided in the fetid

ball sack of Jerry Falwell, senior founder of the moral majority, an organization that

tormented gay people in the 70s and 80s, who also founded Liberty University, a conservative Christian college, where students can be

expelled for drinking, fornicating, thinking gay thoughts, committing actual adultery,

doing witchcraft and until very recently, opposite sex handholding.

Same sex handholding, of course, being banned by the whole gay sex banning thing, but opposite sex handholding was sex handholding of course being banned by the whole gay sex

banning thing but opposite sex handholding was specifically banned until very recently jerry

fallowell junior was put on indefinite suspension a few weeks ago after he posted a photo to instagram

of him doing things that would get a student expelled from liberty university while what was

standing with his arm around a woman who

isn't his wife, both of them with their pants open and pulled down, their crotch is showing,

and their shirts hanged up to their tits, they're on a yacht, and Falwell, who looked drunk in the

photo, had a drink in his hand. And Falwell sure sounded drunk when he called into a Christian radio show

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