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The headline did its job.

In fairness, it caught my attention.

I read the story.

But I clicked through after seeing the headline, which isn't something I usually do because, like everybody else, I read a lot more headlines than I do actual

stories, but I click through to read Jack Kelly's piece in Forbes last week because the headline

pissed me off. I don't know. I guess I felt in that moment like I needed something else to get

upset about because there isn't enough. And that's how I found myself on the website of Forbes,

the capitalist tool, doing a little hate reading, a little outrage stroking.

The headline of the piece read, Americans are excessively eating, drinking, smoking pot, playing video games, and watching porn while quarantine.

What I expected to read on Forbes, a publication that valorizes heroic CEOs who pay their employees so little they have to go on food stamps to survive.

What I expected to read at Forbes was a piece scolding Americans for all the eating, drinking, bong, hitting, and porn watching we've been doing over the last month.

Because there's an implicit value judgment in the word excessive.

Now, wait, it's an explicit value judgment.

When someone accuses you of drinking to excess, they're not paying you a compliment.

If you're doing something, anything excessively, you're doing too much of it.

But that wasn't Kelly's point.

He doesn't think Americans are eating, drinking, fapping, or smoking too much of it. But that wasn't Kelly's point. He doesn't think Americans are eating,

drinking, fapping or smoking too much weed. He doesn't want us to dial it back. But if you only read the headline and screen grabs of that headline are still being passed around on social media this week,

you would think some asshole at Forbes, the Capulose Tool, wants you to feel bad about your

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