You're listening to Comedy Central.

From New York City, they only city in America.

It's the show that incentive news.

This is The Daily Show with your host, Sarah Silverman.

Let's begin with Elon Musk, Twitter CEO and man who has definitely

scissored a robot.

If you thought your Twitter feed was especially flooded with

the launch tweets this week, you weren't alone.

Apparently, Elon's tweets weren't going viral enough, so he pressured his engineers

to design a special algorithm just for his tweets so that everyone would see them first.

Because it behooves all of us to be privy to the fresh and original insights of the richest man in the world.

Really, though, this is just the most pathetic thing I've ever heard.

I don't understand how someone can have 15 kids and still be an in-sell.

I feel bad for him. I really do. This man paid $44 billion to get the same insecurities that I have for free.

Let's move on to Turkey. It's been 10 days since the country was struck by a devastating earthquake.

But in a small bit of good news, rescue workers are still miraculously finding people alive in the rubble.

Just yesterday, just yesterday, they saved two brothers who survived more than 200 hours by eating protein powder and drinking their own urine.

Look, protein powder.

But how amazing is that? Protein powder and urine. That definitely sounds like something you could buy from, say, a Joe Rogan.

Thank God they had that protein powder down there. That's why experts are now saying, in case of an earthquake, try to stand in the doorway of a GNC.

Let's move on. Are you guys familiar with the TV network Newsmax?

Oh, you are. It's basically an even more far right-fox news, like if your crazy uncle had a crazy uncle.

...