Santa Shows Up And Yells At His Elves!

The God Show

God

News Commentary, News, Comedy

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2021

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Santa Claus joins God, Jesus and Moses for The God Pod Holiday Party! Santa gives his thoughts on his favorite Christmas movies, SantaCon, and the alleged 'War on Christmas.' He also yells at his elves…A LOT.

After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Today on The God Pod, you can work it out, you look a pretty beast, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
0:30.0	go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
1:00.0	go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
1:30.0	go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
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2:30.0	go go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, a-and, go, go, pass this day from the plugins for publicity reasons right? Yes,
2:37.0	yes. But I I prefer that my, I, can we somehow move my real birthday to December 25th? Because I think
2:44.0	I's not how that's how it works but it's, but it's such a beautiful season and everybody
2:50.0	the year's younger, but I can't do that. Jesus, I'm not saying I want to de-age myself.
2:56.3	And I don't even know what my birthday is. I know. Okay. You greedy fuck. You've got
3:02.3	two birthdays. I've got none. Well, I'll give you one of mine. Just not Christmas. Take
3:06.8	the other one. Oh, I'll take Christmas. No. Yeah. You already lost Easter to the Easter
3:16.3	money. And I'm stealing Christmas from you along with everyone else. We can't wait
3:23.6	another second longer. He's going to crap himself. You know, enough about Jesus. Let's
3:28.4	bring out our special guest, the real reason for the season. Welcome to the God pod holiday
3:33.4	party Santa Claus. I said, I wanted to ask you some questions since you're our special
3:40.0	guest today. Ask away. First question. What's your favorite Christmas movie, Santa?
3:47.0	Die hard. Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer. Are you giving me two choices? No, whatever you
3:53.4	want. I'm just curious how you feel about those. And I saw I want to know why you were
3:57.8	such a dick to Rudolph in the Rudolph Claimation special. That's a one-sided opinion. I say
4:05.3	I helped him build character. Oh, really? You're like a, you're like an old football coach.
4:13.9	It's a very, it's a very moving story about a reindeer with a disability who I make prove
	...

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