S22E10: Regaining Self-Trust In Dating

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7 • 910 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2026

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In a world full of opinions, algorithms, and endless advice, learning to trust yourself has never been harder—or more important. In this episode, we unpack how modern dating and decision-making have become clouded by external noise, from social media to AI, and why reconnecting with your intuition is key to clarity and confidence in dating. We discuss the risks of crowdsourcing every decision, how to build a “self-trust library” through small, consistent actions, and why regaining self-trust will help you massively reduce the time spent on dating to allow you to focus on the good parts! ---- Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/ Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/ Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE Our Sponsors: * Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE * Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Ui Shoe.
0:01.7	And I'm Julie Craftchick.
0:03.4	We're active daters turned dating insiders.
0:05.8	Here to dive into everything, modern dating and relationships.
0:09.6	Welcome to Datable.
0:14.8	Hello, friends.
0:18.9	Welcome back to another episode of Datable. We are doing a duo episode for this one, special. We always like doing these because we just shoot the shit. In fact, Julie and I were just shooting the shit for 45 minutes before recording this episode. We're like, oh wait, we have to record today. And we've just used our hour, basically. So we extended because we had to be here. Because this is a really good topic. We're excited about this. It's going to be fun. I'm laughing so hard because we have, like, you know, our headphones on. We're like set up to record. And then we have this whole un-recorded conversation, which could have been a very
0:55.1	good podcast episode. So we'll save that for another time. But it is related to, I mean, I think
1:02.1	our conversation is related to this topic, which is like self-trust. How do you build that trust
1:09.0	in your own voice, in your own decisions? And then how do you stick to the
1:13.5	decisions that you've made in your life? And UA and I've been talking about this for a bit now,
1:18.7	because I think we actually think this is a huge problem in our culture today, that we've outsourced
1:24.8	our intuition. We've looked to other people to make decisions for us,
1:29.9	thank the internet, all the different peanut galleries out there. There's no deficit of information,
1:37.5	especially at the age of AI. You can literally get anything in a second. But is that actually
1:43.0	what's going to help you? Is that information good for you?
1:46.2	Or is it just generic and nothing to do with your situation? And we've marketed this as efficiency.
1:52.8	If you outsource the decision making to AI or something else, then you've cut down time and you can
2:00.5	work on things that you really want to.
2:02.7	Well, part of the decision-making process and sitting with how you feel is part of the experience of being a human.
2:09.6	And we've removed the human factor out of a lot of this because being trustful of yourself is sitting with your feelings. And that is a very hard
2:20.7	thing to do for many people. And that's not to say like you can never seek advice again.
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