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The Tim Hawkins Podcast

S2 Ep24: Circumstation Nation

The Tim Hawkins Podcast

The Tim Hawkins Podcast

Comedy, Religion & Spirituality, Improv, Christianity

4.72.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 October 2021

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Back from popular demand, more epic vocal guitar from Livy you won’t want to miss! Tim describes his perfect mansion in heaven and laments the danger of caring about everything. Luke tries to predict the future of transportation and shares that his secret scammer is not yet gone. Plus, a very exciting family announcement from Tim’s oldest son, Spencer! Oh, and quick sand is fake, FYI.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey everybody, you know that one thing that I wish I would have done better in life was

0:15.1

to journal. I have journal envy when I go to my friend's house. I have a friend

0:20.0

Dan in particular and I was at his, it was a smoking lounge actually has a cigar smoking lounge and this guy's

0:32.0

he's a train. He smokes about four or five cigars a day but we you know we hang on in his cigar

0:39.2

lounge sometimes and his shelf is filled with journals and they're all full and I just have journal envy.

0:45.6

I'm like that's that would be so cool. Now I have you know comedy journals and I have lots of other

0:50.0

just life journals that I kind of started some or better than others. I wish I would have done

0:54.8

better. Now one kind of journaling that I have done that was with comedy material. I'm just kind

1:01.3

of going through some old stuff and maybe I could share some stuff with you and I came across

1:05.6

from some tweets from 2016. So I'm just kind of looking at these and I'll just read a few here.

1:13.8

Let's see Disney World is so cool because you can listen to a parent freak out on their children

1:19.9

in every language. All right. Here's another one another tweet a friend made us cookies

1:26.0

said she made them with a pinch of love tried them. They could have used a dash of experience.

1:30.8

That's pretty that's a good one. I forgot about that one. Let's see here. I've never given my blood

1:36.2

sweat and tears for anything because after the blood part I'm like this is not a good activity.

1:40.6

That's the truth. Here's an observation. One looks like I don't think I've ever put a USB

1:45.8

plug in the right way the first try. That is true. Isn't it true? Never the first one.

1:51.9

Here's another tweet. I know there's some serious stuff going on in the world but right now my

1:56.7

drawstring just went inside the hole in my sweatpants. That is the worst my friend the worst. Yes.

2:05.2

Let's see here. No offense but if you use a calculator to figure out the tip at a restaurant we

2:09.9

probably can't be friends. So true. So true. Let's see if I win Powerball I'm going to pay someone

2:18.2

to clean my kids room and with the other eight dollars I'm going to buy chicken wings.

...

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