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Hello Dysfunction

S1 Ep135: Put It In My Dead Mouth

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Improv, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2021

⏱️ 105 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Leo the cat used one of his lives and vets are kinda like car salesman. The art show is next week so buy your tickets now! PeePee is a true intellectual. Some twins are EXTRA close and Crystal discovered an awful fetish. 

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey guys! We're here making a lot of noise with the equipment. Sorry, one time real quick.

0:20.8

At this old 135 of hello dysfunction with potterfria and crystal and two cats. One of them is a

0:31.1

miracle cat. We have office cats. Yeah, they're the good ones. Let's start off talking about him.

0:36.8

That's been a major event. Huge. So Thursday night he snuck out out of our seven cats. We have three

0:48.4

that go out during the day. They're not allowed out at night. Leo is one of those. Normally when I

0:55.8

let them out, you know, they just stay in our front yard. And we live on a court that's pretty safe.

1:03.0

But Thursday night he snuck out and I was up till like two thirty in the morning,

1:08.6

doing my crazy cat lady shit, walking in the driveway with a bag of treats, screaming his name and

1:13.2

shit in my bathroom. I couldn't get him in and I had a bad feeling and I told Mark that

1:21.3

Friday morning I woke up. First thing I did was call Mark and ask him if he had seen Leo. He said,

1:26.1

no, it was weird around 10 o'clock. He just showed up in my room. So one of the kids had to

1:31.2

have let him in. And I noticed he was laying funny and he was just looked off. Yeah. And Mark got

1:39.7

home from work around two or three. And we noticed when we touched his stomach, he would grow.

1:47.5

And you know, he's a breed of siamese. He's a snowshoe siamese and he's very vocal and

1:52.2

growly as it is. But it was different. And then wasn't he like breathing funny too? His breathing

1:58.8

was labored and it was very quick. Yeah. And then Mark noticed on his back feet, his, you know,

2:05.2

their back rabbit feet that the claws on one foot were gone like down to the wick. Yeah.

2:13.6

And on the other back feet, same thing on two of them. And then there was like dried blood on them.

2:20.5

And we were like, what the fuck did he like get attacked by something?

2:25.6

We didn't know. But by six o'clock after observing him, I told Mark I'm like, you got to rush him

2:30.2

to the emergency vet. Something's wrong. We need to get him look that. So we take him to this

2:37.2

place sage. It's the emergency vet we've used forever. And you know, we don't have to use it very

...

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