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Hello Dysfunction

S1 Ep120: Side Boob & Stained Holes

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Improv, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2021

⏱️ 111 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Crystal nearly dislocated her shoulder, Pata Fria’s dysfunctional trip to the snow, Billy loves Elvis, onlygrans, watch your mouth on the phone and keep it cute on clubhouse. 

This week’s podcast recommendations are:

• Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette!
• Sword and Scale episodes 177, 178, and 180.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, welcome to episode 120 of Hello Dysfunction with Potterfria and Crystal and I'm already

0:27.8

on Tuesday and I'm already ruining the week. I'm fucking everything. So yesterday at like 6.30 in the

0:36.6

morning, I was stepping over the puppy gate. I had stuff in my hands. My foot caught. I went shoulder

0:46.7

first into the corner of the wall. Like there was no way to brace myself. I have a big bruise on my

0:51.2

knee, my shoulder. So I instantly started developing this gnarly bruise. So I call my mom at like 7 in the

0:58.7

morning and she starts telling me about her and my pop at the LA airport and I start screaming,

1:07.6

dying, laughing and she goes, I don't know why you're acting like you didn't hear this before and I was

1:12.2

like, I'm like, bitch, I haven't and I'm telling everybody. Telling everyone. How long ago was this?

1:21.2

Ah, probably four years. Not that long ago. No. So they were going up a steep escalator at the airport

1:28.3

and the woman in front of my mom stepped back. So of course my mom went to step back and lost her

1:33.6

balance. My pop tried to catch mom. Nope. They both fell back. Like roly pulleys. So they're flat on

1:43.2

their backs, feet hurt on the stairs of the escalator. Going up the escalator like drunk starfish.

1:49.7

Like just flat on their backs and when she told me that, I was screaming. Could you imagine the fear

1:56.3

of possibly sliding? Yeah, we're older. You know, we're really good to go. And I'm still screaming

2:01.6

laughing. They turned off the escalator. They made them. They were like, get up. They

2:07.3

get up. Roll over. Roll over and get yourselves up. They made them wait for medical professionals.

2:15.6

That's so embarrassing. So then today, I'm out. My dad's in the trailer park. I've made this

2:22.7

fucking U-turn for the last 15 years. I cut it short this time. I ran over a water pipe.

2:32.0

Water started shooting everyone. It was a sprinkler. I'm in the trailer park community. Yes,

2:38.1

it started flooding. I had to go tell the manager. I was I felt so bad.

2:43.7

Was are they going to make you fucking pay for this? I said, you snapped the thing off.

2:47.2

Yes. And I'm like, do you want my insurance information? They're like, no, it's fine.

...

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