Good morning, Sadamites. It's me, Zach Newee Towers, your host. How's everyone doing? Feeling good?

Feeling ready for episode six. This guest is so wonderful and funny and sexy if you Google image her.

But in our talk, we discuss sex outdoors. So I thought for a little bit about sad to me.

We talked about my experience in that arena.

Just a little history, as we all know, outdoor gay sex was invented in the 2005 film

Brokeback Mountain.

But boy, oh boy, did they get stuff wrong.

Two men, no showers, an all bean diet, and a dry dick slamming into a virgin hole.

That's not how you make love.

That's how you make a fucking bomb, a pipe bomb, if you will.

A weapon of, sorry, you got to say it, ass destruction.

Okay, not only would Jake Jelinell have popped like a poopy water balloon, but no lube,

a little handful of spit? He would have bled out on that prairie. Also, what they didn't show in that movie was the following scene where Heath Ledger

has to go to the river and beat his dick clean with a rock.

My experiences have thankfully been slightly better.

The first of which that I remember, I was like 19 or 20, and this frat guy stuck me into a bar and

then proceeded to get me hammered on Ace pear cider, man, hard cider, the butch

cousin of Smyranoff Ice. I don't mean to stereotype beers and their

sexuality, but like, if Smyranoff Ice, if they're both gay, Smyrnaf Ice is coming out at

Thanksgiving to its family and Hard Sider's just waiting for its grandma to die.

That's the only difference.

But I remember getting hammered on it.

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