Royal Bants in DC & A Gifted Bell

The Trawl

Jemma Forte & Marina Purkiss

Politics, Government, News

4.7 • 867 Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2026

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jemma and Marina are back in full chaotic form, slightly sleep-deprived, deeply opinionated, and absolutely not holding back.

They unpack the horror of a North London stabbing and the questions it raises, before diving headfirst into the surreal spectacle of Donald Trump hosting King Charles III, a meeting that somehow involved Magna Carta shade, a gifted bell, and a lot of very British side-eye.

Along the way there's a meltdown over Melania Trump vs Jimmy Kimmel, a rant about media bias (hello Ed Balls), and why Americans calling London a “hellscape” might want to take a long, hard look at their own backyard.

Plus hypocrisy klaxons, accidental near-scandals in the Good Morning Britain green room, and one very satisfying doorbell moment.

It’s messy, it’s funny, it’s slightly unhinged, it’s The Trawl.

Thank you for sharing and please do follow us @MarinaPurkiss @jemmaforte @TheTrawlPodcast

Patreon

https://patreon.com/TheTrawlPodcast

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@TheTrawl

Twitter

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If you’ve even mildly enjoyed The Trawl, you’ll love the unfiltered, no-holds-barred extras from Jemma & Marina over on Patreon, including:

• Exclusive episodes of The Trawl Goss – where Jemma and Marina spill backstage gossip, dive into their personal lives, and often forget the mic is on

• Early access to The Trawl Meets…

• Glorious ad-free episodes

Plus, there’s a bell-free community of over 3,300 legends sparking brilliant chat.

And it’s your way to support the pod which the ladies pour their hearts, souls (and occasional anxiety) into. All for your listening pleasure and reassurance that through this geopolitical s**tstorm… you’re not alone.

Come join the fun:

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	First Lady, Melania, is here. Look at her so beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you'll have a glow like an expected widow.
0:17.1	Hello, and welcome to The Trawl, the podcast that dives into the internet so you can remain blissfully online, which frankly feels like the healthier life choice right now.
0:27.4	By the time we've done all the filtering, you get the lovely granola with the nuts and the juicy fruit.
0:32.8	While we've chumped down a greasy bacon sandwich, I'm Gemma Forte.
0:37.0	They definitely get the nuts,
0:38.4	don't they? Yeah. And I'm Marina Perkis, and I hope you've enjoyed our previous two trolls this
0:42.9	week. Three is kind of becoming the norm, isn't it? And I think it's becoming the norm because, as
0:49.3	Kyle Alex Brexit pointed out on threads, the entire world feels like the teacher stepped out of the
0:56.4	classroom and said she'll be right back. Oh my God, it does. I can't remember those times as well.
1:02.3	Yeah, chaos ensues precisely. By the way, how is your cold, my darling? I'm so sorry,
1:09.5	I'm nasal, I'm still so nasal and I can hear how irritating I sound. In fact, I went on to Good Morning Britain this morning. Yeah. And the last time I went on that show, I also was nasally. And they must just think, well, that's my voice. Marina Snott-Face Perkins. I sound like Kirstama. Yeah. You do sound likeir Starma. Or maybe actually not quite as blocked up as him,
1:29.5	which leads me beautifully to this clip. Thank you. Russell Kane posted this and said,
1:34.0	if you're not from the United Kingdom, imagine what it's like for us having a prime minister
1:38.9	whose voice is also a bicycle horn. Imagine living in a country where your Prime Minister has a horn voice.
1:47.3	That's what we have in the United Kingdom.
1:49.0	Keir Starmer, I'm going to fill the £21 billion black hole,
1:56.0	and I absolutely stand by my decision with the info, ha ha, the info, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
2:03.5	The information that I had.
2:05.6	And going forward, I would, and that's my final view on the butter.
2:14.4	Cut, can't, can't. That is very good.
2:24.6	Right, we won't just do that for the next 40 minutes because that won't make a very good podcast.
2:28.7	Tempting though.
	...

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