Botox Bollox, Boozy MPs & a Five Million Pound 'Gift'
The Trawl
Jemma Forte & Marina Purkiss
4.7 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 30 April 2026
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this Trawl, Jemma and Marina take on everything from outdated beauty standards to the increasingly surreal state of UK politics.
There’s fury over a jaw-dropping tabloid takedown of Cameron Diaz, a debate about whether Westminster has a drinking problem, and a deep dive into political messaging that raises more questions than it answers.
Plus: claims, counterclaims and confusion around campaign tactics, viral clips that feel almost too bizarre to be real, and yet more examples of how modern politics often blurs the line between serious and absurd.
Throw in AI-generated oddities, questionable adverts, and some truly baffling public reactions, and you’ve got an episode that’s equal parts funny, frustrating and hard to look away from.
As ever, they scroll so you don’t have to.
Thank you for sharing and please do follow us @MarinaPurkiss @jemmaforte @TheTrawlPodcast
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If you’ve even mildly enjoyed The Trawl, you’ll love the unfiltered, no-holds-barred extras from Jemma & Marina over on Patreon, including:
• Exclusive episodes of The Trawl Goss – where Jemma and Marina spill backstage gossip, dive into their personal lives, and often forget the mic is on
• Early access to The Trawl Meets…
• Glorious ad-free episodes
Plus, there’s a bell-free community of over 3,300 legends sparking brilliant chat.
And it’s your way to support the pod which the ladies pour their hearts, souls (and occasional anxiety) into. All for your listening pleasure and reassurance that through this geopolitical s**tstorm… you’re not alone.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I've already got two countries agreeing that if we win the next election, they will cooperate with me. |
| 0:05.3 | Taliban, I mean, by the way, they're not my mates, but the Taliban have said they would accept people back from us to Afghanistan. |
| 0:13.3 | They've said that already. Hello and welcome to the troll where once again, Marina and I have to live with the |
| 0:30.4 | consequences of opening the internet, so you don't have to. I'm Gemma Forte and I'm Marina |
| 0:36.0 | Perkis. And happy Friday trawlers. Friday. I'm going to drive straight in with a thread that I saw because I really like the energy. And then, Gemma, I've got a question for you. Okay. This is Flower Chica Go, and she wrote, Had two Turkish coffees this morning. I understand why the Ottoman Empire lasted as long as it did. |
| 0:55.3 | I'm ready to invade Bulgaria. |
| 0:58.4 | Good coffee, that. |
| 0:59.7 | Very strong. |
| 1:00.7 | Very strong. |
| 1:01.5 | I'm just going to just before you ask me whatever question it is, you got lined up, |
| 1:04.7 | the whole Friday thing is interesting, isn't it? |
| 1:07.4 | Because society very much wrapped around that capitalist idea that you have Monday to |
| 1:14.4 | Friday and then it's like, oh, it's Friday, thank God, because my life's so shit until now. |
| 1:19.5 | So I just get to pack some fun and rest into a small window of a weekend. |
| 1:25.3 | Unless you've got kids, in which case there is no fun and no rest. |
| 1:28.2 | Or unless you're a freelance jammie dodger like me, in which case, me, |
| 1:33.6 | yeah, don't get Sunday feeling, don't get Friday feeling, just get feelings, just get feelings. |
| 1:38.5 | Because I might be working on a Saturday. Obviously there'll be many of you who might do |
| 1:41.9 | shift work and so on. But anyway, I just thought it is interesting how we've been programmed to think that that's okay. |
| 1:47.8 | Isn't it De Beers, who put out the marketing campaign, which has led people to believe that when |
| 1:54.4 | one buyer's an engagement ring for their soon-to-be wife, they've been programmed to believe that it should cost |
| 2:02.8 | three months salary. And that's all come because of a De Beers campaign, which is a diamond |
... |
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