I feel so stiff today.

You want to do some jump-up tracks or something?

That'll do it.

Slow it down.

It'll just be slow-motion jowls.

With my fat.

I feel like I should lay off the tacos.

Patriarchy is so crafty.

Antifa activists showed up to a Riley Gaines event

at Portland State University Monday night

to protest her opposition to men and women's sports, I guess.

Now that I can compete as female, I'm ready to smash the other girls.

One of them threw a literal bag of human feces at a volunteer working at the event.

In this video, you can see people trying to gain entry into the locked student union.

Just so we're clear, these lunatics are demanding the right for men to play sports with women or else men will beat up women because if they can't do it in the sports, they're going to do it in the

streets.

Why did you make me do this?

They're going to chase old ladies with canes and throw

bags of poop at them. I'm Bridget Fettysi and this is your dumpster fire.

Welcome to dumpster fire where we make burgers out of your sacred cows.

We premiere new episodes every Tuesday and Friday at 8 p.m. Central.

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