(Rewind): If You're Thinking About OTHER PEOPLE In A Relationship, Listen To This.

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2023

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Back in ye olden times, the fear that a partner might be cheating was enough to keep someone up at night. But in recent years, we’ve added a new layer of anxiety to the mix: “micro-cheating,” a.k.a. “back burner relationships.”

In fact, when Psychology Today recently polled people who are in a relationship, 56% revealed they had a back burner person: someone they’re in contact with who could be an option if their current relationship doesn’t go the distance.

That’s not to say that everyone realizes what they’re doing. Many feel it’s harmless—that they’re just being friendly and keeping in touch with a friend.

Today’s episode will give you a simple test to figure out if you’re in a back burner relationship, and provide you with the mindset you need to give your current one its best shot.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	And there's no shame in a relationship not working out, but it's a shame if it doesn't
0:05.2	work out because the whole time you spent your time in it you didn't actually go on.
0:10.0	What's up everybody welcome back to the Love Life podcast we have a clip from the archives
0:34.2	today that I think you're really going to enjoy checking out.
0:39.4	So this was an article in psychology today that talked about how backburners are people
0:46.0	with whom one maintains contact in the hope of someday pursuing a romantic or sexual encounter.
0:53.6	And what it basically said is that roughly like 70 something percent of singles have
0:59.1	backburners but more troubling basically over half about like 56% of those in committed
1:07.3	relationships have according to this survey let's always take these with a pinch of salt
1:12.3	these are limited surveys etc. But it is in psychology today.
1:17.2	About 56% of those in committed relationships reported having a backburner person or
1:24.6	relationship that does seem kind of high doesn't it like 52% or do you think that's that's
1:31.0	fairly human that people would have some kind of backup option in mind.
1:35.9	Well it depends what you call a backup option I think that there's it's probably not high.
1:41.7	If you just defined that backburner thing as someone who you just haven't explicitly said no
1:50.4	there's nothing between us and you're they also don't know that you're with someone and you kind
1:55.9	of even casually keep the thing alive by texting then I if that's considered a backburner because
2:04.9	you know that there is some underlying attraction there even if it's not spoken then it's probably not
2:11.3	they're probably they're probably as fairly realistic and do we count that as a form of I mean is
2:20.7	that just another shade of infidelity is it just the kind of micro cheating as they might say.
2:27.8	If you're continuing to engage someone and you're in a relationship and you especially if it turns
2:37.5	flirtatious you don't you you you avoid telling them you're in a relationship and it and in truth
	...

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